Are you scarred too ? You should be at least a little worried.

I was always concerned about my future. When I was playing basketball when I had my first serious injury the doctors said that this type of injury could always come back and when it does I should take a time-out  3-6 weeks of training. If i remember correctly those words , the doctor’s words, were a decisive point in my life. In the next year I quit basketball and ended my career of professional basketball player. I always thought , how often the pain will kick in ? Will it last longer than 6 weeks ? I was scared  of investing all my time in basketball so that a simple injury can sent me to the bench. The truth is , I wasn’t a superstar too. I was an average player , who trained from the bottom to get were I was. You know what they say in sport. “You either have talent and the rest is workout or you don’t have talent at all and you put all your heart and soul in it” Let’s say that I begin playing basketball talentless.

After I quit basketball , I chose to follow a very hard university from my country, because being not normal in my country would leave me with no money. ( expensive clothes , expensive privileges, etc ). I am not that guy who would do anything to get somewhere ( stealing , cheating , blackmail ) , well, maybe I am , I don’t know. I mean, I never had to feel the pain of starvation, the pain of feeling the cold in the bones, so , I don’t know what would I do then. I keep telling myself that I wouldn’t do this or that , but , who knows?

Today , we are living, in a hypnotize society with artificial morals with feelings that are fueled by the porn industries. With people that judge other people by the color of the skin , by the color of the clothes, hell , I have friends that can easily judge a person just for the simple fact that one person is wearing black, and later they go and praise a God , a God who says love your close-by no matter what.  All this , what i said , was in the past,  in the past , were I was still young, a young man, who cared only for his future, a future that this man thought can only be molded by the same person who’s holding the strings.

But what happens if there are other things that are holding the strings ? What happens when you try to go forward but there is a big chain bound to your legs ? Imagine now , that there are a lot of people who have this chain bounded by their legs and with every step that they make the chain becomes heavier and heavier to the point where they would simply can’t walk anymore and they would simply die dyhidrated.


I wish for this to be a dream.



“Light your money they said, it will be fun they said”


I am a smoker, or I used to be one. I like to smoke even if I am aware of the side effects. I started smoking late ,  on my age of 19-20, actually I stared when I went to college. I still remember my first of many cigarettes. It was a piece of “Djarum Black” with  taste like a chocolate bar. One light ,inhale…and then “puff”, it was…different, new and bad. Instantly the first block from a big domino game fall and next thing I know ,I am year 4 in college and I smoke a cheap pack of cigarettes per day. “Does that really makes me a smoker?”

YES. Why ? It’s simple. I believe that I experienced a hardcore smoker daily/life. When you wake up and you want so badly a smoke , then ,after you eat and definitely need a smoke with a glass of juice  and ohh I forgot about parties , the problem why we start to smoke in the first place.

I believe that cigarettes are a necessary evil.When you are surrounded by problems and a couple of them seems to be the EXIT. Everything is fine until you realize that you are walking so close to the edge and is so annoying when you start to think “How the fuck can a cigarette manipulate me ?” and then you stop laughing when you see all the creepy ads from every pack of smoke and you  say  “damn , it could be me…” . It’s is no more a variable that you can simply change ,it  slowly  turns into something constant that reminds you , the game is still going and you are the looser.

“Do you still wanna smoke?” I know I did . In fact I smoked so much in my last days as an addict until my body said “no more dude” . I couldn’t finish my last smoke and I trow it away half burned. I know people who are trying to quit for years but they just come back to the old habits.I believe that if it’s really meant for you to quit , you will and if it’s not, what can I say…”Enjoy them.”


“a friendly environment post for smokers”—>

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.


“How can you freely express yourself without being embarrassed? How can you let people know how you feel?”

Why is so hard to really have someone that can truly understand you and who can love you for what you are ?In my case  everybody is telling me that I have to change , that I have to grow mature but I don’t want to give up to my inner child . This second  personality of mine helped me a lot when I was in trouble. I always used to ask myself  “If I been hurt , how soon is to soon to get hurt again ?”

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, Cry and you cry alone.”

I learned that is never to soon , you can not be ready for what will happen.What you can do is to  buy a popcorn and wait for something to happen. This personality who likes to watch , this is the child who always smile who will never ask a question , he will just sit there and enjoy his popcorn.Most of the times we are trying so hard not to care but deep inside us we are wired to care.I think emotion are like paper planes , you build them  from a insignificant paper  and when you are ready to release them , they just don’t want to fly. I build so many paper planes and I will  keep on building until someday one will fly.

There…at last.


 A glass with water…

There isn’t the perfect question or the perfect answer but there is the right time to put a question or the right time for an answer, or maybe it is  time to ignore the possibility that there had been a question and you would be surprised to see how simple an answer could bee.

Sometimes we have the impression that life sounds a little more complicated than it usually is. Well…You are right, it is,it was, and definitely it will be again. We live the days of the  “ignorant peace”. All that you see are zombies, aliens ,big conspirative ideas and with every second that pass you forget the true meaning of life.We are so deep in this “society” , the speed of this routine is increasing so fast and in the end you will be there regretting why you let yourself to be so manipulative.

 …the game is on, with no referees and we just play hide and seek with the world. We play the same game that our ancestor played but it’s bigger and it will be much bigger until it will crash. (simple like that )


Meanwhile you can choose a hypothetical world ending 😀

Papers on white waters. (part 2)


Without a great goal in life , there is a danger that despite with all the pleasant diversion you might have enjoyed while alive , you will end up realizing that you lived a sad life.

In other words you will look back and see that you wasted your one chance at living.Instead of spending your life  searching for some “genuinely” thing,  you  walked blindly ,distracted by  the  many  bubbles of  satisfaction. But even if you can identify your greatest goal in life , there is a slight way that you will not reach your goal.

Well,I can say that for this kind of problem are schools , universities, people that can help us to build a strategy , to arrange the goals in a hierarchy , so that you will be able to sacrifice your smaller goals in purpose to obtain the greatest ones.Think about a pyramid , to build the highest level you must sacrifice the bottom parts. Oh, it would be so much easy if everything were like on papers. But the  cold wind of the reality always kicks your face . Even when you though that you finished your pyramid and you almost reached the highest level, there is always a brick that will break your entire construction.It is like something that I herd:

When a door closes another one opens”.

Papers on white waters.


“What Do You Want Out Of Life?”

Probably the best answer that you will find it will be like “a good job and a nice house” but these are really just some of the things  you want in life. I am asking you “What you really want from life?”. I am asking not for the goals you form as you go about your daily activities but for your grand goal in living. Probably many of you will have trouble naming this goal.It is very important to have such a goal in life. Why?!

Deep inside us , we know what we want minute by minute during our life but we never stopped to think about our greatest goal in life. Our culture , our society doesn’t encourage people to think about such goals. Indeed, our society provides us with an endless stream of distraction and satisfaction so that we don’t have to think about it.  The saddest thing is that somehow we are aware of this prison and we continue choose  to  live in it. I just hope the storm that is coming will help us to find the lost key from our door.

3…2…1…Happy New Year!

Already 2013!

It is time to say goodbye to 2012! A whole  new year is coming, a year with a lot of  new opportunities , new roads in life, and a bunch of new friends.Year 2012 I want to believe that it was the best year in my life, a year that had completely change me in a much better person . I dedicate 2013 to my career because from now on I am a grown man and with this power comes a lot responsibilities (thank you Spider Man for your wise words:P).I think deep inside me I want to remain always a child but I don’t want to be  like a drop of water in a big ocean . In reality even the ocean is a multitude of drops.The point is that, depends on you if you want to be a single drop or a big ocean. Year 2012 was a unique year and it will always remain in my heart.

For now I wish you  HAPPY NEW YEAR!  May God gives you light on the path that you all choose to follow!